hey guys! todays been very depressing for me and these last couple days also. ive been very concerned with soccer tryouts and today i tell you my story: i was on the jv soccer team last year at niceville and today we got a note that would change my life dramatically. since i was 5 i became in love with the game and its been my main concentration on tv on the net at school and on the field. well these last 3 days i had soccer tryouts for the next year. mr. denton called my name and slid me the piece of paper, with a disappointing paper. i stared at the paper glaring in the sun and could see the white sheet at the words "thankyou for trying out. Unfortunately.." and it shock me and i knew.. that for the first time in my life and my second year in high school i did not make the niceville soccer team. soccer has been my life all i think about and its gone..slipped out of my tips like that! on the way home my dad asked me about it and i bursted in tears "i didnt make it dad" and just like i said..i didnt! i cried and cried..i called my mom who was shocked my stepmom also and my sister who felt very sorry as well.. i feel like my hopes and dreams had slipped away. after i looked at the sheet..tasha came up to me and was smiling :she made the team: "hay lindsey did you make it" and i shook my head no. she looked at me and i fell in her arms with tears, burning tears, falling from my eyes and she told me lindsey itll be okay, it'll be okay. and i know she's right but thats when i realized it, for the first time how great of a friend tasha was to me.and in times of need you know your true friends really do shine! and i was glad i had her..i tried to hide my tears all day and im not sure if ill ever get over this. but last night when i was in my bed praying i asked god if soccer was right for me if it wasnt tell me or if i have failed him don't put me on that team..and thats exactly what he did. and i know gods trying to send me down a path but i dont know whats right? and i dont like either of the choices..
i dont know what to do my heart hurts and im just not sure how to heal it...

hey hey kids! whats going on? sorry i havent recently updating you but i am now! and in case you noticed ive updated a bit of everything. i made a new profile section and a new side section with plenty of quotes! so how are yall? im doing absolutely fine. thursday night i was so siked about not having to go to school the next day it was great..we went to buffalo wild wings and watched the yankees vs. red sox. <is that how you right sox>but yea all the people were in the room just going for the sox i was like what the bleep yankees!!!! i didnt care if they were down the yankees are good. well if you want the truth the only reason i like the yankees is bcos jeter is hott! lol..and then we went to walmart and went home! i through a fit when i found out i had to wear my polka dotted dress i wore that for entre nous interview and i think once is enough. but then we went to my dads fomal retirement ceremony with all the air force people there. and we were holding ryan during the ceremony and he kept screaming cake cake cake! lol i was like wil have cake later! well then you know we ate and my dad got a lot of awards i was like dude i play sports and i get less..i guess its just a military pride thing. and then after that we went back to the cayo grande where we were staying and went swimming! and hung out in the room til 6 after that and papa brought us back food. then my dad had to leave and i got on my new black dress with flowers and it looked fab on me well not to be conceeded but i got a lot of compliments. i got tj and ryan dressed and grandma and me went in the room and hung out until it was time to leave.then we showed up at 6 and gradually like 65 people showed up! and it looked really nice and we had it on the water. and me and alma just kept talking about how jill looked like she was hitting on my dad. and then me and alma got our food last after ordering it first we were like wtf? i went and round and took ton of pictures which i hope i can put on my site eventually when i get em developed and then finally we did our presentation and i recited a poem i wrote for my dad and then we gave him his gift from us he got a 3 day stay in the pebble beach resort and 2 rounds of golf on the pebble beach resort. a spa treatment and get to drive around in a lexus for the time they stay! i was like NO FAIR!!!!!! but they said they would prolly bring us to stay with ashyeas parents and not the resort but thats still cool never been to cali and im excited! and were moving into our house two weekends from now! and its absolutely gorgeous!! and my rooms the second largest and i get the computer! s*c*0*r*E! and i have a tv already but if i wanna buy one bcos there taking it away from me to put in tj;s room or ryans room and i got in exchange for it the computer! im so happy and there getting the dsl on my computer! yippi..and after my dads retirement party i went back to the h0tel and babysat my brother ryan, jules,and brayden my cousins. then brayden woke up at 12 something and wouldnt stop crying and i was trying and trying so then i tried calling and i couldnt get a hold of anyone so i was having a really bad headache! well this morning our family left and papa gave me a 20 and brian and gracie gave me a 25 i was really reluctant. so now i have 97 dollars for homecoming shopping but i need to go sooN!!! Well and this afternoon we were supposed to have bagging so money for our chorus trip and i went to kellys and no one was there, and luckily from what i thought one of the girls in chorus were there. well she wasnt there to bag in fact it wasnt there at all from what she claimed it was at food world. so then i went to food world and my dad dropped me off and thay had no freaking clue either what i was talking about! so then i told derek whom i didnt know worked there and i was like eek! hehe he said hed see me later..who knew derek worked at food world. haha..and then waited forever for dad to pick me back up and finally he did and we went through taco bell. and everyone has been watching while you were out and trading spaces and now everyones asleep! i cant wait to go work out with my dad tomorrow and if we go to the beach thats going to be even better because its better for building your legs. and then next week soccer tryouts which im getting butterflies in my tummy thinking about it! and so thats lindsey agenda..glad to update you! and if you want to leave me a message, oh and d0nt forget to take a picture.

When tomorrow starts without me,
and I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes,
all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry,
the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things,
we didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
as much as I love you,
and each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
please try to understand,
that an angel came and called my name,
and took me by the hand,
and said my place was ready,
in heaven far above,
and that I'd have to leave behind,
all those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
a tear fell from my eye,
for all life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
so much yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible,
that I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,
the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
and all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday,
just even for awhile,
I'd say goodbye and kiss you
and maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
that this could never be,
for emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
my heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
from His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity,
and all I've promised you".

Today for life on earth is past,
but here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
but today will always last,
and since each day's the same day,
there's no longing for the past.

But you have been so faithful,
so trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things,
you knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven
and now at last you're free.
So won't you take my hand
and share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me,
don't think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart

hey everyone whats going on? how was yalls day? mine was okay kinda not but i mean its just another day. im gunnah update you starting with tuesday. okay first period i found out good and bad news the bad i didnt get my 70 i needed to get a c on my report caRD but i did get a 100 on the quiz! heehee yah oh yea im so smart!? lol..then mr.inness' class b0ring notes...3rd ch0rus we sang and i got to sing soprano 1 but it was a lil weird bcos i was so far from laura. and then 4th we just went over some stuff we did. then 5th lunchee and then cooking class but all we did was take notes all that period. Then 6th in ms.dicesares we went over 1984 and then in 7th we reviewed for the quiz..so i guess you can say it was a pretty average day and then later on that night i went to fca okay you know what i dont get is how mackenzie made straight c's in mr dugans last year and went into ap world honors and i got straight b's and i got put into regular. that makes no freeking since its prolly bcos mr.dugan likes mackenzies boobs! just cos lindsey doesnt have ne haha...well and then on to today 1st period we went outside and the freezin 60 degree weather and look at caterpillas and stuff for our diagnotic table project. and then second we did more notes and me and laura left 10 minutes early so we could get in our chorus outfits and then we went to ch0rus 3rd and got our pictures done! and then onto espanol classe with seniora marshall claude hehe spanish is a fun language! and we did that story and stuff again! and then 5th its was lonely without jesse but we managed. and then coooking we watched a video and left class 10 minutes early bcos i wink wink had to go to my locker..and then 6th i did my math homework really quick and then 7th we had a quiz i couldnt beliieve my eyes when i say jhw and frankie walking around holding hands eew eew eew eva! yuckwdnpapdepkmpwnnfp! LOL..it was sick!but yea im supposed to be babysitting so drop me a line or two! and anytime you guys got any questions feel absolutely free to ask! bye now!