hey guys! todays been very depressing for me and these last couple days also. ive been very concerned with soccer tryouts and today i tell you my story: i was on the jv soccer team last year at niceville and today we got a note that would change my life dramatically. since i was 5 i became in love with the game and its been my main concentration on tv on the net at school and on the field. well these last 3 days i had soccer tryouts for the next year. mr. denton called my name and slid me the piece of paper, with a disappointing paper. i stared at the paper glaring in the sun and could see the white sheet at the words "thankyou for trying out. Unfortunately.." and it shock me and i knew.. that for the first time in my life and my second year in high school i did not make the niceville soccer team. soccer has been my life all i think about and its gone..slipped out of my tips like that! on the way home my dad asked me about it and i bursted in tears "i didnt make it dad" and just like i said..i didnt! i cried and cried..i called my mom who was shocked my stepmom also and my sister who felt very sorry as well.. i feel like my hopes and dreams had slipped away. after i looked at the sheet..tasha came up to me and was smiling :she made the team: "hay lindsey did you make it" and i shook my head no. she looked at me and i fell in her arms with tears, burning tears, falling from my eyes and she told me lindsey itll be okay, it'll be okay. and i know she's right but thats when i realized it, for the first time how great of a friend tasha was to me.and in times of need you know your true friends really do shine! and i was glad i had her..i tried to hide my tears all day and im not sure if ill ever get over this. but last night when i was in my bed praying i asked god if soccer was right for me if it wasnt tell me or if i have failed him don't put me on that team..and thats exactly what he did. and i know gods trying to send me down a path but i dont know whats right? and i dont like either of the choices..
i dont know what to do my heart hurts and im just not sure how to heal it...

hey hey kids! whats going on? sorry i havent recently updating you but i am now! and in case you noticed ive updated a bit of everything. i made a new profile section and a new side section with plenty of quotes! so how are yall? im doing absolutely fine. thursday night i was so siked about not having to go to school the next day it was great..we went to buffalo wild wings and watched the yankees vs. red sox. <is that how you right sox>but yea all the people were in the room just going for the sox i was like what the bleep yankees!!!! i didnt care if they were down the yankees are good. well if you want the truth the only reason i like the yankees is bcos jeter is hott! lol..and then we went to walmart and went home! i through a fit when i found out i had to wear my polka dotted dress i wore that for entre nous interview and i think once is enough. but then we went to my dads fomal retirement ceremony with all the air force people there. and we were holding ryan during the ceremony and he kept screaming cake cake cake! lol i was like wil have cake later! well then you know we ate and my dad got a lot of awards i was like dude i play sports and i get less..i guess its just a military pride thing. and then after that we went back to the cayo grande where we were staying and went swimming! and hung out in the room til 6 after that and papa brought us back food. then my dad had to leave and i got on my new black dress with flowers and it looked fab on me well not to be conceeded but i got a lot of compliments. i got tj and ryan dressed and grandma and me went in the room and hung out until it was time to leave.then we showed up at 6 and gradually like 65 people showed up! and it looked really nice and we had it on the water. and me and alma just kept talking about how jill looked like she was hitting on my dad. and then me and alma got our food last after ordering it first we were like wtf? i went and round and took ton of pictures which i hope i can put on my site eventually when i get em developed and then finally we did our presentation and i recited a poem i wrote for my dad and then we gave him his gift from us he got a 3 day stay in the pebble beach resort and 2 rounds of golf on the pebble beach resort. a spa treatment and get to drive around in a lexus for the time they stay! i was like NO FAIR!!!!!! but they said they would prolly bring us to stay with ashyeas parents and not the resort but thats still cool never been to cali and im excited! and were moving into our house two weekends from now! and its absolutely gorgeous!! and my rooms the second largest and i get the computer! s*c*0*r*E! and i have a tv already but if i wanna buy one bcos there taking it away from me to put in tj;s room or ryans room and i got in exchange for it the computer! im so happy and there getting the dsl on my computer! yippi..and after my dads retirement party i went back to the h0tel and babysat my brother ryan, jules,and brayden my cousins. then brayden woke up at 12 something and wouldnt stop crying and i was trying and trying so then i tried calling and i couldnt get a hold of anyone so i was having a really bad headache! well this morning our family left and papa gave me a 20 and brian and gracie gave me a 25 i was really reluctant. so now i have 97 dollars for homecoming shopping but i need to go sooN!!! Well and this afternoon we were supposed to have bagging so money for our chorus trip and i went to kellys and no one was there, and luckily from what i thought one of the girls in chorus were there. well she wasnt there to bag in fact it wasnt there at all from what she claimed it was at food world. so then i went to food world and my dad dropped me off and thay had no freaking clue either what i was talking about! so then i told derek whom i didnt know worked there and i was like eek! hehe he said hed see me later..who knew derek worked at food world. haha..and then waited forever for dad to pick me back up and finally he did and we went through taco bell. and everyone has been watching while you were out and trading spaces and now everyones asleep! i cant wait to go work out with my dad tomorrow and if we go to the beach thats going to be even better because its better for building your legs. and then next week soccer tryouts which im getting butterflies in my tummy thinking about it! and so thats lindsey agenda..glad to update you! and if you want to leave me a message, oh and d0nt forget to take a picture.

When tomorrow starts without me,
and I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes,
all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry,
the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things,
we didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
as much as I love you,
and each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
please try to understand,
that an angel came and called my name,
and took me by the hand,
and said my place was ready,
in heaven far above,
and that I'd have to leave behind,
all those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
a tear fell from my eye,
for all life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
so much yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible,
that I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,
the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
and all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday,
just even for awhile,
I'd say goodbye and kiss you
and maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
that this could never be,
for emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
my heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
from His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity,
and all I've promised you".

Today for life on earth is past,
but here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
but today will always last,
and since each day's the same day,
there's no longing for the past.

But you have been so faithful,
so trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things,
you knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven
and now at last you're free.
So won't you take my hand
and share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me,
don't think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart

hey everyone whats going on? how was yalls day? mine was okay kinda not but i mean its just another day. im gunnah update you starting with tuesday. okay first period i found out good and bad news the bad i didnt get my 70 i needed to get a c on my report caRD but i did get a 100 on the quiz! heehee yah oh yea im so smart!? lol..then mr.inness' class b0ring notes...3rd ch0rus we sang and i got to sing soprano 1 but it was a lil weird bcos i was so far from laura. and then 4th we just went over some stuff we did. then 5th lunchee and then cooking class but all we did was take notes all that period. Then 6th in ms.dicesares we went over 1984 and then in 7th we reviewed for the quiz..so i guess you can say it was a pretty average day and then later on that night i went to fca okay you know what i dont get is how mackenzie made straight c's in mr dugans last year and went into ap world honors and i got straight b's and i got put into regular. that makes no freeking since its prolly bcos mr.dugan likes mackenzies boobs! just cos lindsey doesnt have ne haha...well and then on to today 1st period we went outside and the freezin 60 degree weather and look at caterpillas and stuff for our diagnotic table project. and then second we did more notes and me and laura left 10 minutes early so we could get in our chorus outfits and then we went to ch0rus 3rd and got our pictures done! and then onto espanol classe with seniora marshall claude hehe spanish is a fun language! and we did that story and stuff again! and then 5th its was lonely without jesse but we managed. and then coooking we watched a video and left class 10 minutes early bcos i wink wink had to go to my locker..and then 6th i did my math homework really quick and then 7th we had a quiz i couldnt beliieve my eyes when i say jhw and frankie walking around holding hands eew eew eew eva! yuckwdnpapdepkmpwnnfp! LOL..it was sick!but yea im supposed to be babysitting so drop me a line or two! and anytime you guys got any questions feel absolutely free to ask! bye now!

i try to blow off the fact that the majority of my high school girls have boyfriends and well me i land in a group of girls that dont have any boyfriends but we do have boys in our group.im talking about my new friends krista.megan.kristen.-&-jill.my best friend kim moved last summer away from me and it absolutely tore me to pieces. kim has or well had no idea how bad i cried i was calling for weeks before and weeks without her.bcos i felt like she was such a high percentage of my life and now she is but not as much.last year me and kim had a lot of classes together were eachothers "date" along with my former ex bff jennifer.we all got along so well and we got pictures had our inside jokes and all seemed great.why did i need a date to homecoming when you had your two best friends by your side. well me and jennifer started to get in fights stronger and worst then ever.and i understood kim couldnt take sides and didnt wanna choose.well like i said the fights got worse and then a life changing event happened, kims cousin died.it was the what i looked at as the worst event in kims life.and all i could do is yell at her on days when we had band and she had to miss it for her cousins stuff.i felt horrible and when she cried i could tell she was so hurt and i knew nothing i could do could reheal her but worst of all i couldnt control my actions it was then i think i gave everyone a totally new perspective of me.i told kim i was sorry yet something still didnt seem right.i mean everyone knew me as lindsey the gossipy loud 15 year old. it hurt to hear jennifer whom was an acquaintance at the time tell me people were talking about me all the time.well it was one day during speech me and jennifer exploded againist each other yelling over things that well didnt even make since.are anger and friendship had hit its bottom.everytime kim talked to me in the hall and jenn came up shed turn to her and then try to do both at the same time.well one day i finally decided that i was wrong i admitted it and me and jenn became friends again.it was a relief and kim was happy but it was later that year me and jenn got in a fight again and this time for good.it was over the same stupid crap and we tried to talk it over but somehow it ended.i was torn apart bcos jennifer was also a sister to me.and everytime i see her walking by me i always think well what if and if i said this could this have happened? but i know now that she probaly hates me. ive heard her talk about me since awhile ago on my profile i wrote something on there about how could you hate me? and she told kim that she didnt hate me she just wasnt very happy with me.well this whole summer just before school started we got in a fight while i was in arkansas and it was the end. i had just got back from my sister's graduation it was supposed to be the best time in my life but it was one of the worsts. we got back from my sisters graduation and her and tasha had sent me a lot of messages about this and that. i just cried and then my sister came home thinking me for the roses i got her i in tears had to take pictures with my sister. i was dressed up in my black 1 sleeved dress with my flower necklace with the black jewels i even had my hair done and curled. but when we took pictures it was when she got home and i guess that was too late. my nana yelled " lindsey get in here and take pictures" i kept saying "i cant" so we took our pictures but i doubt i was smiling i really dont want to see them. bcos they remind me of a hard time in my life. :'/ so well kim moved in june and it hurt really bad like i mentioned. i just wished i woulda had a camera or my dad woulda let me use the video camera to go remember her by. bcos all i can remember her buy is the lost pictures and memories in my mind. one day im gunnah visit her and im gunnah bring a camera when that happens i dont have the slightest clue. so i want on this summer lonely having barely anyone to hang out with. eva and me did hang out a few times but thats when band started and swimming and are own inner turmoil kicked in. katie also did band i mean i talked to em both everyday but evas calls got less and less. then towards school starting i started talking to em again and me and eva went shopping for school clothes together it seemed great. then came the first day of school i was excited to be back but then i realized oh wait this is why i disliked school so much!and then on with the football games the first one i felt very weird hanging out with tasha*JENN*elena, and brianne i mean it seemed like brianne liked me being there and i felt accepted but i felt like it was a 1:4 ratio. and i would walk in the "group" and then jennifer would cut in and of course i couldnt stand by her bcos it would be too weird. next game it was me and brianne bcos no one was in town because they all had there wave tourney. and then the next game i walk into the stadium its the big choctaw game and i see krista and i ask her if i could hang out with her till i found tasha and them. well eventually i found them but i liked hanging out with krista and her friends. they accepted me and i was whole and since then ive been hanging out with them. i mean every now and then i have the occasional let out with them bcos they all made entre nous and i didnt but i think its cool theres always next year and i have fca and i really like fca its fun! so thats been my life for about the past year.but i feel like over the summer ive matured but every now and then someone makes a comment and it hurts. like just the other day steven thorn said all i did was gossip and all this shit. okay its steven thorn thats what i thought to myself why should i care what he thinks hes doesnt know me for me so he has no right to say that. it really did piss me off at the time but i mean like i said he doesnt know me he just knows what he wants. so lately ive been really busy.. ive been stressed out with exams and my grades and all and well soccer tryouts. im really concerned but i guess the end of the nine weeks is over now all i can do is say hey im gunnah try harder next semester. but well im going now i needed to let out some things that have been bothering me so im glad to share it with you! leave me a message --lindsey--

hey guys in case you havent noticed this is kinda a new site! i deleted my old take a picture site and added this one in! i made a new tag board and well its cute and got rid of my old one so i dont have ne new messages yet thats why you have to come to my site! and all my previous message omg..there gone! lol..teehee more for me to feel in so i hope you enjoy the new and improved take a picture and drop me a message or 2!